开发信案例22、
楼主,写了封开发信,求您帮参谋参谋!前提是这个客人以前有过一点联系,没做成单子之后就断了,现在我想拣起来!帮看看这样写行不行?尤其是红色的部分,那样写合适么?恳请楼主回复!
SUBJECT:
Introduced by BHi C,Today is 2nd, should be the first day you return to back.(C出差今天回来)This's A from China and I have connected with B (C的同事)before.
We are a chinese manufactory and specialise in XX ,XX,XX and other products for over know a lot about your products and we can offer qualified products according to your style petitive informed that you are taking care of import to find a way to cooperate with you!
Free samples can be provided on forward to your kind reply!
best regards,
A
1)Today is 2nd, should be the first day you return to b
ack. 这句话可以去掉,我个人觉得是废话,e还拼错了。
2)This's这个缩写我还是头一次见到,应该是不能这样写的吧?等英语高手来回答。。。
3)connected with貌似也有问题,如果你的电脑连接公司服务器,倒是可以用connected with。这个用法我不能确定算不算错,但是肯定不地道,你什么时候见老外这样写的?
4)manufactory这个单词其实要少用。嘿嘿,这个词我正好研究过,在国外一般指的是“handmade”,也就是手工制作的工厂。如果你们的产品大部分是手工做的,很少用到机器,那这样的工厂就可以叫manufactory。所以最好还是用manufacturer或者factory比较合适。你说呢?
5)know a lot这句话挺中国化的,英文一般不这样说,通常会用have full knowledge of...这样的句型。
6)I know a lot about your products and we can offer qualified products according to your style petitive price. 这句话太长了,一眼看过去觉得晕,要好好理解才能明白你这句说
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