黄西宫演讲稿.doc

黄西joe wong美者年会脱口秀白宫演讲稿,中英文版黄西美者年会上的脱口秀演讲稿 Good evening, everyone. My name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as Who? Hu is actually my mothers maiden name, and the answer to my credit ca

黄西joe wong美者年会脱口秀白宫英文演讲稿,中英文版
黄西美者年会上的脱口秀演讲稿
Good evening, everyone. My name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as "Who?" "Hu" is actually my mother's maiden name, and the answer to my credit card security question.
各位晚上好,我是Joe Wong(黄西)。但是对很多人来说,听到我的名字,会问“谁”?Who(同音“Hu”)恰恰是我妈的娘家姓,也是我信用卡安全问题的答案。

But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight.
但是玩笑归玩笑,我想让大家放心我今晚的确是受到邀请来的。(这里是隐指Salah夫妇闯入白宫欢迎晚宴的新闻)

I grew up in China. Who wouldn't?
我在中国长大。谁不是呢?(这是用自己的自大讽刺美国人的自大)

As my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood.
When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I have to work at a rice paddy, right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that is where I learned that light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as a flying rock.
而我童年的所有记忆都被我的童年给毁了。读小学的时候,作为课程的一部分,我要去稻田里劳动,稻田的旁边是一个采石场,他们用炸药炸石头。也就是在那里,我知道了光的传播速度要比声音快,而声音的速度就和石头飞的速度差不多慢。

My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would tried to cheer me up with jokes. But he doesn't do it right. When I was seven, one day he said to me, "Hi, son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy?" So, five minutes later, I said, "Why?" He said, "Because I said so!"
我爸爸是个脾气很怪的人,但偶尔他也想用笑话来逗我玩儿。可是他又做不好。我七岁的时候,有一天他问我,“嘿,儿子,你说为什么豆腐比社会主义计划经济要好?”(风马牛不相及)我想了五分钟,然后问他“为什么呢?”,他说“因为我说好就是好!”(笑点在于:豆腐,计划经济以及极端的父权。豆腐和经济放在一起本来就没有可比性,就好像这种
“我说了算”的父权也根本不可理喻,让人又好气又好笑)

I came to the United States when I was 24, to study at Rice University in Texas. That wasn't a joke, until now.
我24岁的时候来到美国,在Texas的Rice University求学。这不是个笑话,不过现在是了。

And I was driving that a used car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "If you don't speak English, go home!" And I didn't no