倒霉的物理(DOC).doc

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倒霉的物理
作者：克里斯托弗牛曼 (Christoph Niema nn)
译者：异议
本文由译者异议授权转载。
Whether we like it or not, huma n life is subject to the uni versal laws of physics.
不管我们愿不愿意，人的生命都是受物理定律支配的。
My day, for example, starts with a dem on stratio n of Newt on ' s First Law of
Motio n.
比如，我的每一天都是从牛顿第一运动定律开始的。
It states, “ Every body continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a
straight li ne …”
该定律指出： 正常情况下，身体会保持静止状态，或做匀速直线运动， …”
… uni ess it is compelled to cha nge that state by forces impressed upon it.
“ ••除非有外力加诸其上，迫使其改变状态。 ”
Based on supercomplicated physical observati ons. Ein ste in con eluded that two objects may perceive time differe ntly.
基于超级复杂的物理研究，爱因斯坦得出结论，认为两个不同物体对时间的感知可能有所不 同。
Based on simple life experie nee, I have con eluded that this is true.
基于生活的简单经验，我确定这理论是真的。
Newt on ' s Cradle shows how en ergy travels through a series of objects. 牛顿摆试验显示了能量是如何通过一系列物体来进行传递的。
In our particular arran geme nt, kin etic en ergy is ultimately con verted into a compressi on of the forehead.
在我们的精心编排下，动能最终转化为我额头上挤出来的皱纹。
The forehead can be un crumpled by a dow nward moveme nt of the jaw. 通过下巴向下的运动，前额可以平复如初。
Excessive mecha ni cal strain will compromise the elasticity of most materials,
though.
但过度的机械应力会损害大多数材料的弹性。
The huma n body fun cti ons like a combusti on engine. To produce en ergy, we n eed two thin gs:
人体就像一台内燃机。为了产生能量，我们需要两件东西：
-Oxyge n, supplied through the no strils (once the toy car is removed, that is).
-氧气，通过鼻孔提供(在没有被玩具车堵住的时候)。
-Carbohydrates, which come in various forms (va nilla, chocolate, dulce de leche).
-碳水化合物，以各种形式被摄取(香草口味，巧克力口味，法式口味)。
By the by: I had an idea for a carb-n eutral ice cream.
OK，我想出了一个关于零增肥冰淇淋的主意。
All you n eed is to freeze a pint of ice cream to -3706 F.
你只需要把一品脱冰淇淋冻到零下 3706华氏度。
The energy it will tak