老友记第一季第一集剧本.docx

老友记第一季第一集剧本
The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?（驼背还是秃头？）
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
(They all stare, bemused.)
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went
through with Carl- oh!（我不希望她走我和Carl的老路）
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
[Time Lapse]
Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there.
Joey: Instead of...?
Chandler: That's right.
Joey: Never had that dream.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
some coffee.
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! （不要驱赶我的灵气）No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!（保持晦气吧！）
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No you don't.
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Chandler: Sometime