雅思6分大作文范文参考.docWill本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。ILETS大作文评分项:TR(论证扣题度),CC(连贯性及一致性),GRA(语法范围及精准度),LR(词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。文中标识:用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加Inrecentyears,medicalcarehasbeenincreasinglyadvancingwhich(注意你指的是前面一整段话,which前要加逗号改为非限制性的。)(你每次写strength和drawback这两个词的时候最好把对象也说出来:Thisnotonlystrengthensourentirespeciesintermsofphysicalcondition,munityatthesametime.).Inmyopinion,,theincreaseoflifeexpectancywillindividuallyimprovethesenseofhappiness(用词改进:mayleadtoahighersatisfactionoflife).Whenonehastheopportunitytoenjoythelongerlife,,asthemedicalcareadvancing(用词改进:,notonly...),,,asoneaging,,economicalorsocialvaluewillbecontinuallyavailable.(这个太像解释了不是例子,不是实际生活中发生的而是你的推测。如果想不出新闻之类的话,你可以举一些年龄越大贡献越大的职业,例如:Accountants,scientistsandengineers)However,
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