漫画类作文评讲.ppt

作文讲评?白?富?美 Is there any advanced vocabulary or sentence patterns (高级词汇和句式)? Are there any mistakes ? 表达错误 Does the writer use any linking words ? Language 语言表达 Are all the details to the point (切题)? Are all the details stated? Content 内容要点 Is the article divided into parts ? Structure 框架结构 ASSESSMENTS ( 评价标准) 作文要求: ,一些食品公司为了谋取利润, 不顾人们的身心健康,违法使用添加剂 Structure : 3 paragraphs Content Details: 1. Phenomenon( 谋取利润,不顾人们的身心健康,违法使用添加剂) 3. Solutions 2. Harm make profits, regardless of/ignore, use sth . illegally (two or more points) Is there any advanced vocabulary or sentence patterns (高级词汇和句式)? Are there any mistakes ? 表达错误 Does the writer use any linking words ? Language 语言表达 Are all the details to the point (切题)? Are all the details stated? Content 内容要点 Is the article divided into parts ? Structure 框架结构 ASSESSMENTS ( 评价标准) Language : Proper linking words ( 恰当的连词) I’ m afraid, you know, As we all know, As is well known, in a word, to sum up ……过渡性插入语 and, what ’ s more, besides, in addition, furthermore, moreover, to make the matter worse , what ’ s worse ……递进顺序 though, as, even if/though, whether , wh - ( what,when , where,how)+ever ……. 让步顺序 as long as, on condition that , if, unless , only if ……条件顺序 because, since, as, for, thanks to , owing to , due to , as a result , ……因果顺序 but, yet, however, while, though, otherwise , in reality , instead , nevertheless , after all …... 转折顺序 for one thing, for the other thing , on one hand, on the other hand ……对称顺序 first, second, then, finally , at last , soon , immediately, suddenly ……时间顺序 Are there any mistakes ? 1. To achieve great profits, panies regardless of people ’ s health. 2. This phenomonen lead to more and more companies use harmful things in the food. 3. panies produce food use varieties of chemicals in order to increase their profits regardless of consumers ’ health.