CaptainStormfield’sVisittoHeaven(斯多姆菲尔德船长天国之旅).pdf

Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven
Captain Stormfield's Visit
to Heaven
by Mark Twain
1
Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven
CHAPTER I
Well, when I had been dead about thirty years I begun to get a little
anxious. Mind you, had been whizzing through space all that time, like a
comet. LIKE et! Why, Peters, I laid over the lot of them! Of
course there warn't any of them going my way, as a steady thing, you
know, because they travel in a long circle like the loop of a lasso, whereas
I was pointed as straight as a dart for the Hereafter; but I happened on one
every now and then that was going my way for an hour or so, and then we
had a bit of a brush together. But it was generally pretty one-sided,
because I sailed by them the same as if they were standing still. An
et don't make more than about 200,000 miles a minute. Of
course when I came across one of that sort - like Encke's and Halley's
comets, for instance - it warn't anything but just a flash and a vanish, you
see. You couldn't rightly call it a race. It was as if et was a
gravel-train and I was a telegraph despatch. But after I got outside of our
astronomical system, I used to flush et occasionally that was
something LIKE. WE haven't got any ets - ours don't begin.
One night I was swinging along at a good round gait, everything taut and
trim, and the wind in my favor - I judged I was going about a million
miles a minute - it might have been more, it couldn't have been less - when
I flushed a most monly big one about three points off my starboard
bow. By his stern lights I judged he was bearing about northeast-and-by-
north-half-east. Well, it was so near my course that I wouldn't throw
away the chance; so I fell off a point, steadied my helm, and went for him.
You should have heard me whiz, and seen the electric fur fly! In about a
minute and a half I was fringed out with an electrical nimbus that flamed
around for miles and miles and lit up all space like broad day. et
wa